what i'm supposed to be doing here

K asked me what i'm working on in Madurai. Seems a fair question, though a full answer is difficult. So, in the spirit of continued posting to this space, i'm pasting excerpts from our gmail chat.

25 Sept 2006 - J and K, chatting:

16 minutes

1:53 AM K:btw, i read your blog and quite enjoyed it.

i think i would enjoy it even more if you talked more about your work, if that's possible

1:58 AM me: yeah, my work is evolving, so difficult to write about

1:59 AM or rather, like india, it's such a big topic, that it's hard to know where to start

K: the evolution would be interesting to watch

me: basically, i'm working for a very big human rights - they do dalit rights and anti-torture work

2:00 AM K: i have no idea what you are doing

ic

me: so, my main job is to work on this project called "National Project on Preventing of Torture in India"

three year project, 3mil euros

funded by the eu

2:01 AM K: ic

me: combines human rights monitoring and intervention (ie. factfinding and brinign court cases) in ten states throughout the country

K: is there torture going on?

me: everywhere

the core of our work focuses on custodial torture

K: i'm sure a lot of indians wouldnt mind getting tortured for 3mil euros

me: ie. police stations and jails

yah, for sure :)

2:02 AM K: i guess it's you that is getting tortured judging by your blog ;)

ic

me: ya, for sure :

but that's my problem, not the indians'

K: actually, i do know of several human rights abuse cases

mostly involving people getting bullied into voting for the right candidate

bullied hardcore

2:03 AM like getting their eyes gorged out if the dont "behave" and vote nicely

me: the other part of the project is to conduct trainings in the ten states, targeting lawyers, judges, doctors, psychiatrists, police officers and civil society

just to tell them, you know, that torture is bad and all and its against the law

but it's kind of a way of life here

K: ic

okay, sounds like damn good work

2:04 AM me: lots of good laws, but the reality on the ground is very far away from that.

the work is fine. in some ways it's just work, really.

sometimes i wish i just did for-profit business type work

2:05 AM then at least i could actually achieve the goals of the work i was doing

K: yes, indians are good at talking...

me: with this type of work, you'll never really solve anything

K: :)

too bad 9 out of 10 business fail!

me: the real draw is that i get to work with some amazing people

2:06 AM the director of my org is pretty stellar.

K: being an engineer is better. only something like 50% of projects "fail"

me: yah, guess you can

cant win, whatever you do.

might as well hang out in the desert with pretty girls and take lots of drugs

K: really, lots and lots and lots of people would prefer doing your work

2:07 AM me: i know. i'm very lucky to be doing it.

K: well, i think i prefer the latter

me: so the work isn't the hard part

it's just dealing with the fact that i choose to send myself across the world, alone, to god-forsaken corners.

2:08 AM just for sport, really.

and, as you read in my blog, transitions can be a bitch.