Sometimes, it's a struggle.
Yes, i know, hard to believe, but this traveling business ain't all monkeys, mountains and rockstars. In fact, sometimes it can be downright frustrating.
Objectively, I find this fighting-with-myself rather amusing.
17 Sep 06 - Letter from Madurai 2: Bitch some more...
yah, i haven't been writing much. this is probably a combination of being very busy, and also freaking out a bit--i don't like to share my freak-outs all that much.
things here are pretty good, all things considered. it's 9:30pm on sunday and i'm in the office, which bodes poorly for my free time in india. fortunately, at least i had the whole day free-- upon leaving the house, i got on my forest-green one speed bicycle and turned left on the big road. i hadn't been left yet. i followed the road down for several kms, and watched the city fade away into nothing. all of a sudden i was in the country, surrounded by rice paddies and green fields, small schoolhouses and dirt roads, and in the distance, the western ghats, a striking mountain range that rises from the planes and divides southern india in two, like a spine. that was pretty cool. and i discovered a big vegetable market just down the road from my flat, on the otherside of the ice cream store.
you see, i haven't had much chance to get out in madurai. and i'm living alone in an empty apartment that still lacks a fridge and a stove and needs to be cleaned real bad. i asked the go-to guy here at people's watch if i could furnish it (out of my own pocket) and he acted like i was putting him out--why do you need furniture, he asked, and "you should thank me that you're getting a fridge." fuck that. so home life has been a bit isolating, and im still learning to do things for myself, like eat and sleep and use the toilet and travel around town. this world feels totally alien to me and i don't have anyone to show me how to do it. so it's all been trial and error.
And i had to kill a humungous fucking cockroach the other night. and spent my first night getting devoured by mosquitos--they don't use nets here--there's a product you buy which plugs into the wall and emits a repellent vapor, but of course i didn't have anyone to tell me about that, so i just had to figure it out. And most people don't speak more than very basic english (and when they do speak english they talk your frickin head off), and 95% of the signs are only in tamil.
This is all shit i can and will deal with, and it will get better once i become more accustomed and learn to do things, and learn some tamil. for the moment, however, it's just a pain in the ass. I wish i could say that i got off the plane in india, or got off the train in madurai and just loved, loved, loved it. but the fact is it's just so foreign and disconcerting. maybe i'm just getting old and inflexible. maybe i got to used to western culture and comfort in new york. or maybe i'm just got plunged down on mars with no one to hold my hand. i went to the touristy part of town today and ate lunch with a french backpacker. he was the first white person i'd interacted with in almost week. at least people in madurai, unlike delhi, are friendly and curious. but it's an awkward sort of friendliness, that's a lot overbearing in some ways. the whole--oh you're white, i want to be your friend, lets be friends right now, just like we've known each other our whole lives, and then we can write emails and talk on the phone and it will be just great! what country are you from? what religion are you? do you like india? i like india! let's be friends, ok???? ---And then there were the malicious fucking school kids in delhi who swarmed us by the side of the road. they ripped my pants and pushed us in traffic (crossing the road here is the most dangerous fucking affair ive ever seen). little bastards. and the one boy in delhi who i gave my address to, and he showed up at my hotel door at 7am one morning. we'd been out till 4am, but my roommate let him in and then all of a sudden i open my eyes and here's this 12 year old kid above my bed, staring at me expectantly, as if i was just going to jump right up out of bed and go play ball with him. and then maybe i'd take him back with me to america so he could see the statue of liberty and meet michael jackson.
I mean sheesh, what the fuck! cant a guy get a moment to himself here? but it's good and bad--like the old man who offered me some of his ladoo (a sweet ball of butter/sugar) on the temple steps this evening. that was a very nice gesture. i mean most things are well intentioned, it's just their ways that get to me. like the way southerners eat with their entire fucking hands and play with their food before shoving it into their mouths. it's just fucking gross, alright. i know i will get over it--i have to get over it. i want to learn to do it. but frankly, it's just fucking gross. and i can't stand most south indian food. north indian food is heavy but fine (i'm learning where to get it here in madurai), but i just dont dig most south indian food i've had so far. i felt really bad about this until yesterday when my north indian coworkers told be they don't like south indian food either.
also, i've had almost constant stomach trouble since i've been here (to greater or lesser degrees), and the beds are really hard. ok, this email has been a major fucking bitch fest. this is why i'm not writing emails--because every time i write to someone, it just turns into a bitch fest. I don't know whether i've ever had culture shock like this. it's kind of funny to step outside myself and watch, actually. just frustrating to live it.
Objectively, I find this fighting-with-myself rather amusing.
17 Sep 06 - Letter from Madurai 2: Bitch some more...
yah, i haven't been writing much. this is probably a combination of being very busy, and also freaking out a bit--i don't like to share my freak-outs all that much.
things here are pretty good, all things considered. it's 9:30pm on sunday and i'm in the office, which bodes poorly for my free time in india. fortunately, at least i had the whole day free-- upon leaving the house, i got on my forest-green one speed bicycle and turned left on the big road. i hadn't been left yet. i followed the road down for several kms, and watched the city fade away into nothing. all of a sudden i was in the country, surrounded by rice paddies and green fields, small schoolhouses and dirt roads, and in the distance, the western ghats, a striking mountain range that rises from the planes and divides southern india in two, like a spine. that was pretty cool. and i discovered a big vegetable market just down the road from my flat, on the otherside of the ice cream store.
you see, i haven't had much chance to get out in madurai. and i'm living alone in an empty apartment that still lacks a fridge and a stove and needs to be cleaned real bad. i asked the go-to guy here at people's watch if i could furnish it (out of my own pocket) and he acted like i was putting him out--why do you need furniture, he asked, and "you should thank me that you're getting a fridge." fuck that. so home life has been a bit isolating, and im still learning to do things for myself, like eat and sleep and use the toilet and travel around town. this world feels totally alien to me and i don't have anyone to show me how to do it. so it's all been trial and error.
And i had to kill a humungous fucking cockroach the other night. and spent my first night getting devoured by mosquitos--they don't use nets here--there's a product you buy which plugs into the wall and emits a repellent vapor, but of course i didn't have anyone to tell me about that, so i just had to figure it out. And most people don't speak more than very basic english (and when they do speak english they talk your frickin head off), and 95% of the signs are only in tamil.
This is all shit i can and will deal with, and it will get better once i become more accustomed and learn to do things, and learn some tamil. for the moment, however, it's just a pain in the ass. I wish i could say that i got off the plane in india, or got off the train in madurai and just loved, loved, loved it. but the fact is it's just so foreign and disconcerting. maybe i'm just getting old and inflexible. maybe i got to used to western culture and comfort in new york. or maybe i'm just got plunged down on mars with no one to hold my hand. i went to the touristy part of town today and ate lunch with a french backpacker. he was the first white person i'd interacted with in almost week. at least people in madurai, unlike delhi, are friendly and curious. but it's an awkward sort of friendliness, that's a lot overbearing in some ways. the whole--oh you're white, i want to be your friend, lets be friends right now, just like we've known each other our whole lives, and then we can write emails and talk on the phone and it will be just great! what country are you from? what religion are you? do you like india? i like india! let's be friends, ok???? ---And then there were the malicious fucking school kids in delhi who swarmed us by the side of the road. they ripped my pants and pushed us in traffic (crossing the road here is the most dangerous fucking affair ive ever seen). little bastards. and the one boy in delhi who i gave my address to, and he showed up at my hotel door at 7am one morning. we'd been out till 4am, but my roommate let him in and then all of a sudden i open my eyes and here's this 12 year old kid above my bed, staring at me expectantly, as if i was just going to jump right up out of bed and go play ball with him. and then maybe i'd take him back with me to america so he could see the statue of liberty and meet michael jackson.
I mean sheesh, what the fuck! cant a guy get a moment to himself here? but it's good and bad--like the old man who offered me some of his ladoo (a sweet ball of butter/sugar) on the temple steps this evening. that was a very nice gesture. i mean most things are well intentioned, it's just their ways that get to me. like the way southerners eat with their entire fucking hands and play with their food before shoving it into their mouths. it's just fucking gross, alright. i know i will get over it--i have to get over it. i want to learn to do it. but frankly, it's just fucking gross. and i can't stand most south indian food. north indian food is heavy but fine (i'm learning where to get it here in madurai), but i just dont dig most south indian food i've had so far. i felt really bad about this until yesterday when my north indian coworkers told be they don't like south indian food either.
also, i've had almost constant stomach trouble since i've been here (to greater or lesser degrees), and the beds are really hard. ok, this email has been a major fucking bitch fest. this is why i'm not writing emails--because every time i write to someone, it just turns into a bitch fest. I don't know whether i've ever had culture shock like this. it's kind of funny to step outside myself and watch, actually. just frustrating to live it.
posted by jordan at
8:03 PM
1 Comments:
HAHAHAHA. Don't say I didn't warn you. I can't stand the hand eating style either. I was on a night train and some idiots from the cheap seats sat down in my AC sleeper compartment just to eat their stinky food. As they are cramming it down their mouths, one reaches out and offers me a handful of curry...like i'd reach out and let him drop it in my hand and then eat it. UGH.
By
JS, at 12:27 PM
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